Time to say hello. Better late than never!

Hi guys. I'm a student from Norway turning 25 next week. I was in here 95 days ago and I was eager to say hello, but for some reason I didn't. 96 days ago a new friend of mine told me about something called nofap and he inspired me to check it out. So I did.

I suddenly realised that I had been doing PMO for 10 years of my life without really questioning what I was doing to myself. Just a week before, I had stopped having sex with this girl that I had been with only once, and to be honest (to myself) it was probably because I felt like I got more out of beating off to clips online by myself, than being with her. I found this quite shocking and I felt like this was a problem I had but wasn't aware of - not being able to really connect with someone, or loosing interest in a girl after a just couple of weeks. I wouldn't say I had an addiction to PMO (or maybe I do), I did PMO maybe 3-5 times a week, and after doing some reading here online, on reddit and watching some documentaries, I didn't at all identify myself with some of those poor guys who has an uncontrollable urge to PMO many times a day. But maybe I still had a problem and just was in denial? I realised i used PMO for pleasure, as a pat on the back for doing something good or when I ended up alone in my bed after a night out, and I would also say to escape feelings sometimes. It wasn't like I was not getting laid, but I often felt sad, distanced, and insecure. I really wanted to make a change in my life, but I was worried that if I got drunk or high or something, I would relapse in a heartbeat. But I went for it.

I'm saying hi to all of you know because I'm on day 95 of my very first nofap-streak (I have left real sex with another human being out of my run). And for the last 30 days I feel like I've been slowly slipping. I can't really say what I'm doing this for anymore, and I don't feel like there is any point in keeping this going. To be honest, I don't feel all the great benefits yet, but I feel some of them. I feel more vibrant, lively and vigorous. And that I have a stronger power of attraction maybe. More "clear" in a way. It's hard to describe. But I don't feel as confident talking to stranger women as I would like to. I will have to work on that I guess. I just felt like I needed to get a grip and get a bit more involved now that I finished my 90 days and felt insecure of why I was doing this and where to go from here. I was just watching a sex scene on Narcos and I came the closest to relapsing that I have ever been during these 95 days!!! This is still a slippery slope..

This no-PM(O) project has been my little secret for a long time now. I have a "buddy" (stick to the buddy-system!) but I've found it hard to talk to with some of my best friends because they either think it's ridiculous or they don't see the point in not whacking off. "Everyone does it," right. It's something that has put a little smile on my face from time to time, not because I think I'm/we're "better" people than guys doing PMO, but because I told myself: "I can do this. Are you up for it? How far can you go?" Something I hopefully can be proud of. And I am.

This did not become the perfect well written introduction letter I've planning in my mind, and it became a long one, and I guess that the idea of "perfection" and "putting everything in there all at once" held me back for 95 days. It just feels damn good to say - HELLO! I'm out here floating, living my life PMO free on the same planet as you in a neighbourhood up north. Great to be here. Stay strong!