Depression, Unhappiness with State of Things. (I Need some support..)

This is my last gasp of air - for help. I'm completely exhausted, I don't know what else to do, but write here. I felt something telling me, intuition, it was the (right) thing to do.

I find my self very depressed more often, than not, in the day. It's practically every day - all of the time. I live in America (where we practically have an epidemic of depression and mental illness/health problems...what's that saying?) and yet, when I've suffered from this problem - due to the surrounding environment - I believe; I have had it always thrown back at my face. 'It's your thinking. It's your problem. It's your fault. The problem lies with you. You need to just smile and be happy to be happy. You have a chemical imbalance.'

All the usual, self help, psychopharma-cartel agenda stuff told to me, pushed on me. Which ......for years I stupidly fell for. No wonder it didn't help me.

Now, I know the reason/s largely I am depressed. I still know it will get thrown at me, again - but I am prepared and guarded against it this time.
I think that it would take "happy pills" to be happy in this country anymore. The state that everything's in. It is so depressing. The biggest thing that gets (to) me is the daily interaction/ or lack thereof.
I go out to a walking path. Nobody barely says hi or even looks at you. People just all seem to themselves and insecure/unhappy or defensive....is what I imagine. There's this great feeling of wanting to reach out, but not being able to. Being blocked. I think everybody is feeling this.... and there are many reasons as to why.

I come home. No gf. No long term payoffs. It's dishes, shower, wake up at 4:30 am for work...go to bed. Deal with assholes in traffic. Deal with self entitled-important people while I'm outside. Because of my interest/awareness in the world I'd say I'm more educated about the situation than most people around me are. I read alternative news and try to stay informed/intelligent. It is the society, however, that I see all around me....that negatively impacts me the most. I just wish things were better/happier. I wish there was a more cohesive whole, rather than.....a bunch of painful parts and disjointed fragments and tensions among individuals. This to me, is the biggest thing. ..The society you live in will either hold and lift you up, or suck you dry and suck the life out of you with its misery and dis-harmony. Which is what's manifested here in the US to a profound degree...that I don't think anyone could have imagined, or predicted.
Most people/most interactions leave me with a sense of 'taking away' rather than 'restoring' me...
that is, I feel isolated and alone. Most of the small interactions daily I have are what I would describe as 'negative' ones, and I think most Americans feel this way.
The women are shit, most girls seem to just look down on us guys. Feminism has infected their brains and minds and turned them against men, so as they have to compete or think and feel that they have to - ruining any chances at a gender relationship. Most women, if I'm honest - just annoy or irritate me.

I'd say I'm pretty profoundly depressed at the state of the world, and .....most imminently, the state of my country. I feel it's hopeless. There is so much decaying, everything is falling apart and people are just supporting it - by not doing anything. Laughing in glibness... it's disgusting and disheartening. I can't barely talk about it.
I feel so alone here and often I dream of Europe or in living some place else, where the society isn't so fractured/destroyed and..there isn't so much misery and depression and alienation/cynicism among the people. *Let me say, I understand this may not in fact be true, but it's what I think of. It's my dream I guess. So yeah..I just had to explain that. I look forward to something better. Hope.

I've just got my package online for TEFL, for teaching abroad. This, I hope, will give me a great opportunity to jumpstart my dreams. Even though it is a little late - I'm 28.....it's not too late.

Thanks guys for listening. It really means a lot. Even though it seems small - this website...it is actually huge. I wish I could explain it adequately.
Thanks for giving me a place to share and communicate my innermost thoughts/feelings.

 

I'm thinking of joining a church, something.....I need something some positive influence and collective whole in my life. I need something.

* The biggest danger in depression lies in the cycle of dis-productivity that occurs.....you're so tired and miserable that you just lie there. Days pass by. The motivation you'd get from your positive environment supplied you normally with the drive to go out and succeed is missing. So in it's place there's just negative misery...you have a parasitic/vampiric society - which in my opinion - is what most of USA has become now. It's sad. ... but tremendously devastating.

So I'm looking for solutions to overcome this/ both in the short term, and long.

I ultimately I think want to get out of here. That is my goal and my dream.